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  Jamie You fucking Muppet.

  Matty And the more I tried not to. The more I wanted to laugh. Fucking.

  Jamie What you like?

  Matty I know.

  Jamie You should sit down, mate.

  Matty Right.

  He does. Jamie sits with him.

  Jamie Don’t panic.

  Matty No. I won’t. I’m all right.

  Pause. Then Matty nods, smiling encouragement.

  Matty It’s all right here. Innit?

  Jamie What?

  Matty I, when I was coming up. All the, the garden out front. That house and everything.

  Jamie Yeah.

  Matty I thought. Y’know? Looked all right.

  Jamie Yeah.

  Matty You get to do that, do yer?

  Jamie The garden?

  Matty Yeah.

  Jamie Not that one. No. Others.

  Matty Right. That’s all right, innit?

  Jamie Yeah. Yeah. It’s not bad. It’s. That’s another nick actually.

  Matty What?

  Jamie It is. There’re two. This one. Springhill. Is the other one.

  Matty Bloody hell.

  Jamie Yeah.

  Matty Some places there are no prisons, are there? Here you can’t fucking move for them.

  Jamie That’s right.

  Matty Yeah.

  Jamie How was your journey?

  Matty Yeah. It was, easy. Y’know?

  Jamie Yeah?

  Matty Nice. Coming up through the country and that. Funny, innit?

  Jamie What?

  Matty The way this place just sits here. Don’t notice it. Do yer? Until you’re right here.

  Jamie No.

  Matty Takes yer by surprise, kind of, don’t it?

  Jamie smiles. Tries to hold his eye contact. Matty can’t.

  Jamie Five year.

  Matty Yeah.

  Jamie Five years, Matty.

  Matty Yeah.

  Jamie You were thirteen.

  Matty Yeah.

  Jamie You want a cup of tea, mate?

  Matty What?

  Jamie You can get them. You ask them. They’ll give you. I could murder a cup. They’re like twenty pence or summink.

  Matty I can go.

  Jamie You got any money?

  Matty Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

  Jamie I can make us a, make us a rollie. You want a rollie?

  Matty Yeah. Go on.

  Jamie You go and get the teas and I’ll.

  Matty Sure.

  Leaves him rolling a cigarette. Hands shaking. Makes two. With real care. It’s difficult for him to do this.

  After a minute or so Matty returns with two cups of tea in polystyrene cups.

  Matty Here you are.

  Jamie Beauty.

  Beat. Jamie stares at Matty.

  Matty I bought you some tobacco. As it goes. Left it on the, on the, the, the, with the gate. They said it’d be all right.

  Jamie Yeah. They’ll drop it over. Thank you.

  Matty And some phone cards I got yer.

  Jamie Right.

  Matty But you can’t use them. Or summink. Is that right? You need special ones?

  Jamie Yeah.

  Matty I’ll, next time.

  Jamie Yeah.

  Jamie smiles. Beat.

  Jamie It was good to get your letter.

  Matty Yeah. I should have written sooner.

  Jamie I wish you had.

  Matty I know.

  Jamie I’m not angry or nothing. You were a fucking kid, eh? Can’t blame yer for that. I just wish. Yer with me?

  Matty Yeah.

  Matty looks away from him. Tries to smile down into his teacup.

  Jamie How’s Mum?

  Matty She’s okay. She’s well. She’s all right. Yeah. She told me to tell you. She’s gonna try and come in. You send her a VO, she’ll come in, definitely. She said.

  Jamie Right. Good. She doesn’t need to.

  Matty No. She said she wanted to.

  Jamie Right. That’s good. How’s Al?

  Matty He’s all right. Same really. Tell you what.

  Jamie What?

  Matty That, that, that queue. Fucking hell.

  Jamie What?

  Matty Some of them people in the, the, the waiting to come in.

  Jamie Yeah?

  Matty Fuck me. Fucking psychos. Fucking freaks. Worse out there than they are in here, half of them, I reckon.

  Jamie laughs, slurps his tea. Flicks ash.

  Jamie Calm down.

  Matty What?

  Jamie You. Calm down. It’s all right.

  Matty I am calm.

  Beat.

  Jamie Good.

  Pause.

  Matty It’s funny. Standing at the gate. Thinking about all this. Back here. This building, when you’re standing outside of it. Looking in. Waiting to come in. Bit fucking …

  Pause.

  I remember when you got out of East Sussex. After you glassed Gary Noolan.

  Jamie Oh yeah?

  Matty Coming up to meet yer. That was the same.

  Pause.

  Jamie drinks his tea. Smiles.

  Matty Is it different here?

  Jamie What?

  Matty To young offenders?

  Jamie (mouthful of tea) This place is a bit weird. All the therapy groups.

  Matty Right.

  Jamie goes into the pockets of his sweatpants.

  Jamie You want a sweet?

  Matty What?

  Jamie I got some sweets, you want one?

  Matty Yeah. Go on then. Ta.

  Jamie passes him a sweet, which he puts in his mouth. The two of them chew for a while.

  Jamie Can I call you Matt? Not Matty? Is that all right?

  Matty Yeah. Course you can. If you want to. Course.

  Jamie Sounds better. Don’t it?

  Matty I don’t know. Matt. Yeah. Sounds all right. I don’t mind.

  Jamie Sounds better. (Beat.) Look at you.

  Matty What?

  Jamie Fucking shoulders on you!

  Matty What?

  Jamie You’re like.

  Matty What?

  Jamie smiles. Doesn’t answer. Relights his cigarette.

  Jamie I might be getting day release.

  Matty You what?

  Jamie I might. They said. I’m up for my board next month. There’s a possibility.

  Matty Fucking hell.

  Jamie I know.

  Matty That’s …

  Jamie Come out. Go up London.

  Matty I’d come up and meet you.

  Jamie Be good.

  Matty Yeah.

  Jamie Just to see everybody. Go home.

  Matty Yeah. (Beat.) You wanna see the Bridge.

  Jamie They finished it, have they?

  Matty Couple of years back. You’d like it, I reckon.

  Beat.

  Jamie How’s, how’s, how’s college? How’s college? Everything all right, yeah?

  Matty Yeah. Not bad. You know.

  Jamie What year you in now?

  Matty ’S my second year.

  Jamie Second year. Right. And it’s going all right, is it?

  Matty It’s going. Yeah. I. It’s going fine. Actually. Yeah. Pause.

  I was thinking of jacking it in a while back, as it goes.

  Jamie What?

  Matty I was thinking of knocking it on the head. College.

  Jamie Why?

  Matty I don’t know really, just –

  Jamie What you wanna do that for? Don’t be stupid. As if you wanna go round doing that.

  Matty I got a mate who’s, he runs his own company. Does a bit of painting and decorating. Does houses. And bits of, y’know, chippying and that. Bit of bricklaying. He reckoned he could get us steady work. Take us on. Everything. I thought I might go and work with him. (Beat.) I might not. I’ve not decided.

  Jamie looks at him for a while. Sucks air between his teeth. Looks away, round the
room at the other visits.

  Matty What?

  Jamie looks back.

  Jamie You seen Lynsey much?

  Matty Yeah. Bits.

  Jamie Seen Emma?

  Matty Yeah.

  Jamie How they doing?

  Matty I think they’re all right.

  Jamie Are they?

  Matty Yeah.

  Jamie They ain’t been in.

  Matty No?

  Jamie Four years.

  Matty Right.

  Jamie starts chewing on the nail of his right thumb as he talks.

  Jamie It was my idea for them not to. It’s not a good thing for a girl who’s four. Y’know? She’s four years old and they’re asking her to take her fucking socks off and having a clock of them.

  Matty Right.

  Jamie So …. But they’re all right?

  Matty I think they are, Jamie. Yeah.

  Jamie I should stop biting my nails.

  Matty Yeah.

  Jamie Fuckin’ disgusting habit, I think.

  Smiles.

  Pause.

  Matty Jamie, Lynsey’s moved up north.

  Pause.

  She met a bloke.

  Pause.

  She met some bloke and she moved up north with him and she took Emma with her.

  Pause.

  Moved up Sunderland.

  Pause.

  She came to, came to, came to, to tell us. Came round to the house. She wouldn’t tell me where she was going exacdy but she promised she’d try and phone me. Let us know.

  Pause.

  It was a month ago.

  Pause.

  She wanted me to come and see you. To tell you. She isn’t going to come and see you herself, she said. She doesn’t want Emma to come and see you. She doesn’t want that.

  Pause.

  I never met him. I don’t know who he is or what he’s like. Or what he does. Or anything.

  Pause. Jamie nods over and over.

  Jamie Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

  Matty I haven’t been able to sleep. Thinking about how I was going to tell you.

  Jamie Right.

  Matty Jamie, I’m really sorry, mate.

  Very long pause. Two staring at each other. Matty finds it difficult.

  Jamie They didn’t leave an address?

  Matty No.

  Jamie Will you ring them, find out?

  Matty I can’t.

  Jamie Ring them, Matt. Somebody must know their number.

  Matty Jamie, it’s not as …

  Jamie Not as what? Not as what? Matt? Not as what?

  Matty Jamie, don’t.

  Jamie Don’t what? Matt? Come on.

  Matty This is difficult for me.

  Jamie What is?

  Matty This.

  Jamie What did you say to her?

  Matty I didn’t know what to say.

  Jamie Didn’t yer?

  Matty looks away.

  Pause.

  Jamie Five years I done for you.

  Matty Don’t.

  Jamie I haven’t seen you. You never wrote to me.

  Matty I couldn’t.

  Jamie I only did it ’cause of you, mate.

  Matty Don’t say that.

  Jamie I come out of East Sussex and you’re a fucking child.

  Matty I didn’t ask you to do nothing.

  Jamie And you’re swanning round Stone Street with fucking Ross Mack, like you’re his little fucking prime piece of pussy! Matty, you have no idea –

  Matty I could have sorted him out.

  Jamie What he was like. What he could do. What he did to me. The things he did to us. He was a proper nonce, Matty. I come out and he’s hanging around you like a, like a, like a –

  Matty You didn’t need to do what you did.

  Jamie And she’s telling you that and you didn’t know what to say to her? Fucking hell!

  Matty You can’t blame me.

  Jamie Don’t cry. Not in here.

  Matty I’m not crying! (Beat.) I wanted to tell you myself. I didn’t want you to find out from anybody else.

  Jamie Didn’t yer?

  Matty No.

  Jamie Well, that’s fucking –

  Matty That was important to me.

  Pause.

  I think about you all the time.

  Pause.

  Jamie Shake my hand.

  No response.

  Matt.

  Matty is reluctant.

  Jamie Here. Matt. Shake my hand. Shake my hand, Matt.

  He does. Jamie holds Matty’s hand longer and tighter than Matty wants him to.

  Jamie Is that the only reason you came?

  Matty No, course it’s not.

  Jamie Is that the only reason you’ve come in to see me, Matt?

  Matty Jamie, no. It isn’t.

  Jamie ’Cause if it is.

  Matty It isn’t, I swear.

  Pause.

  Jamie You know how you sometimes you have to, with a woman, you have to spit in their face, don’t you? Because you can’t hit a woman, can you? So that’s what you have to do. Isn’t it, Matt?

  Matty I don’t know.

  Longer pause. Jamie strokes Matt’s held hand with his free hand.

  Jamie How’s Mum really?

  Matty What?

  Jamie How’s Mum really?

  Matty I don’t know.

  Jamie They won’t let us out. To see her. Isn’t gonna happen.

  Matty No.

  Jamie Have you the ability to count to ten? Can you spell your name?

  Matty You what?

  Jamie Nothing. Don’t matter.

  Jamie still holds his hand. Long pause.

  The first nick I was in was called HMP Risley. They send a lot of lifers there to start their sentence. One night. Two weeks in. I’m on the balcony. In the middle of the wing.

  I hear these shouts going out. ‘GET BEHIND THE DOORS! BANG UP! BANG UP! NOW!’ Whole landing’s clear of cons in two minutes. When that happens you know something’s gonna go. I look out. I’m trying to clock what’s going down. There are seven or eight screws positioning themselves outside a cell on the landing below mine. There’s this woman, woman officer, opens the flap on the door. And you can only just hear her talking inside. She unlocks the door. Draws her whistle. Which you don’t do. ’Cause they’re for fucking, for, for, for emergency. And she blows it. And they pile in. Seven or eight of them. And what they do is they start beating the fuck out of this, what I find out later, is a, a, a boy. The fucking screams from him. They break his hand. Bash it against the door. He’s screaming for, for, for minutes. And the thing is. He keeps apologising. Keeps promising over and over to be good. And she’s giving it ‘Break his arm! Break his arm!’

  Long pause.

  This does for me, this.

  Matty What?

  Jamie Seeing you.

  Matty Why?

  Jamie doesn’t answer. He lets go of Matty’s hand.

  He takes out another sweet. Offers one to Matty, who takes it. Doesn’t open it. Jamie opens his with real care. Looks at it before he puts it in his mouth.

  Matty I keep seeing Ross Mack’s cousin. Keeps saying what he’s gonna do to yer. When you get out.

  Jamie Right.

  Matty Shouldn’t have fucking done it. Should yer? Should yer, though, Jamie? Really? Should yer?

  Jamie –

  Matty I never asked you to.

  Jamie No.

  Long pause. Matty rubs his eyes with the ball of his fist.

  Jamie Will you try and find an address for me? Or a phone number or something? Where they’ve gone. Will yer? Will yer? Will yer, Matty? Please.

  Matty I’ll try.

  Pause.

  Jamie See this mark. On my finger. Fading now. See that? See my ring? Emma/Lynsey cut into it. Won’t let us wear it now. I want a photograph of her. Of Emma. Lynsey won’t send us one. I’ve asked her. Will you get us one?

  Matty I’ll try.

&nbs
p; Jamie Will yer? A recent one.

  Matty Yeah.

  Long pause.

  Jamie Would’ve been good, eh? To’ve watched her … y’know.

  Matty Shouldn’t have hit Lynsey, then. Shouldn’t hit people. Should yer? Should yer, though. Jamie?

  Jamie Don’t, Matty.

  Just.

  Honest.

  Jamie looks away from him.

  Pause.

  I don’t even dream about outside any more. Not for ages.

  Pause.

  Matty If you get a day out, after that, when’s your sentence review?

  Jamie (looks back) Two years, maybe.

  Matty What’ll they say?

  Jamie Don’t know. Early to tell. Maybe go to a day-release nick. Just banged up at weekends and night time.

  Matty That’d be good. Wouldn’t it? Wouldn’t it, though?

  Jamie Yeah. I think so.

  Matty How long we got here?

  Jamie Five minutes. Max. Prob’ly less. Just finish it. When they feel like it sometimes.

  Matty Right.

  Pause.

  I’m not coping mate.

  Pause.

  I need you at home.

  Pause.

  Mum’s started talking weird shit. All the time. She’s. Dad’s no fucking use.

  Long pause.

  Jamie If you come again will yer bring us some magazines. Some baccy. Some fucking more teabags. That’s good. Do that.

  Matty Yeah. Jamie. I’m sorry about Lynsey. About Emma and that. I don’t know what else to say about it.

  Jamie No.

  Matty I should fuck off.

  Jamie Wait.

  Matty Mad this, innit?

  Jamie When they call us. You’re not allowed to stand up. All right?

  Matty Right.

  Jamie Mum don’t need to come. She’s not well. Tell her, tell her, tell her.

  Matty What?

  Jamie Nothing. Just make sure she’s. You know.

  He leans over and touches Matt’s face. Matt is embarrassed by this. Doesn’t know what to do.

  Three

  A Saturday afternoon, 15 May 2004, 5.30.

  A bedroom in a B & B, Durham Road, Sunderland.

  Jamie Carris is thirty-nine years old.

  There is a big wooden table with two chairs on either side, two blue plates, a teapot, two blue teacups, an opened bottle of milk on it.

  A big radio. A notebook and several different coloured pencils.

  Window open to outside.

  Jamie wears a blue shirt and jeans.

  He has a cigarette in his hand. Unlit.

  Emma Carris stands at the door. She is seventeen years old. She is wrapped in a big puffa-jacket coat. Her hair is wet, loose, shoulder length.

  Jamie Your hair’s wet.

  Emma I had a shower. Before I came out.

  Jamie Would you like to come in?

  Emma Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is …